


the feeling of falling

by dontdwell



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Barry Allen Loves Iris West, F/M, First Dates, Pining, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26706412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontdwell/pseuds/dontdwell
Summary: Iris is going on her first date, and Barry is there to help her.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Iris West
Comments: 16
Kudos: 38





	the feeling of falling

**Author's Note:**

> title is from feeling of falling by cheat codes!

“Barr I don't think I can do this.” Barry looks up from his phone at the tone in Iris’ voice. 

He’s been steadfastly trying to avoid making eye contact with her all day, scared she’d immediately recognize the fiery anger and jealousy written in his eyes and in the downward twist of his mouth. 

Iris is going on her first date, with the captain of their football team. And the thing is, Barry really has no right to be jealous. 

She’s seemingly oblivious to his feelings for her and he’s attempted to keep it that way for years, even with the not-so-subtle encouragement he constantly gets from both Joe and his dad.

Iris currently has a grimace on her face, like the one she gets when she drinks too much at a party and ends up with her head in the toilet, Barry holding her hair and rubbing soft circles over her back.

“Can we maybe...practice? Like pretend the date is over and we’re back at his house, or something. And we’re just hanging out? I don’t know. I’m really nervous.” She’s rambling. And Barry thinks he might be in hell. 

He questions what he did to deserve this emotional torture. The universe is dangling everything he wants in front of him, but it’s not real.

He can tell his jaw drops slightly by the way her eyes widen. “S-sorry. I don't want it to be weird.” When she suggests things like that, he thinks she can’t possibly not know how he feels. 

“No Iris, it's ok. Of course we can. Why would it be weird?” She shrugs at this and gives him a small smile while he wills his cheeks to cool down. 

“You look really nice.” He says, and she does. She always does. There’s something burning in the pit of his stomach as he looks her over. This can’t end well for him. “Thanks Barry.” She responds brightly, giving him a wide grin. 

He pats the couch cushion next to him, and she saunters over, heels clacking against the floor. Her hands are holding her purse tightly so he grabs them, smoothing his thumb over her knuckles, playing with the rings on her fingers. 

“Iris relax. There’s no need to be scared. You know how amazing you are.” He says, attempting to be as neutral but comforting as possible. The thing is that Barry is pretty sure everyone that has met Iris is a little in love with her. Why does this guy deserve her?

She’s looking at him now, blinking slowly. His pulse skips a beat and he clears his throat. “Well. He’ll definitely do this move”. He murmurs, resting one arm over the back of the couch. She snuggles into his side and quirks an eyebrow at him. “What else?”

He swallows loudly. “I mean you guys will probably watch a movie after, right? And as a guy, I know he’ll want to cuddle.” She agrees as if he’s giving her very wise advice, and wraps an arm around his middle. They haven’t been this overly touchy in a while, and Barry is not going to blow this opportunity.

“I just- I don’t know what to say. You’re the only guy I really hangout with and you’re so easy to talk to.” She whines and tightens her grip on his waist. He can hear the tremble in her voice. 

This is so different from the Iris he knows. She’s usually so strong, confident, and secure. She must really like him, he thinks bitterly. 

“Well, you guys can talk about your hobbies. Your childhood. You can talk about me.” He pokes her side gently with a finger on his free hand and she giggles. Her hand is now gently stroking his side up and down.

“You are very important to me. You know that, right Barr?” She asks earnestly, staring up at him. He can feel his ears warming and has to look away. He wishes desperately that the TV was on and providing background noise.

“Of course I do. You’re important to me too. And you know you don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.” He says, and she nods. “Like?” 

He halts and looks back to her. Her eyes are wide and searching his, like she’s waiting for him to say something important. The atmosphere has suddenly shifted and Barry doesn’t know how or why. 

Iris has never acted like anything more than a friend towards him and he’s taken aback by this abrupt change. “Like. Like, I don’t know. Kissing? You don’t have to kiss him.” He stutters awkwardly. She nods again.

“Do you think he’ll try to kiss me, Barry?” She asks softly. What is happening? He feels dizzy and out of place.

“He would be incredibly stupid not to.” She gives him a look so full of affection he thinks his heart is going to burst.

“You’ve been ignoring me all day. Why?” She’s slowly leaning her face up towards him and the air between them is so thick with intimacy he feels his breath catch. Barry questions if they’re still practicing. Were they ever in the first place? 

“Iris…” He can’t bring himself to say anything else. His arm has moved off the couch to wrap around her tiny waist, his pinky resting against the top of her jean-covered thigh.

Barry brushes a piece of hair out of her eyes and his heart is hammering wildly in his chest. He wonders if she can hear it. Their faces are so close that he can feel her breath on his lips. 

He finds himself on a precipice, looking over the edge of a cliff. The only question is whether he can jump or not. “Don't go.” he whispers, pleading. They’ve never addressed this before, and it’s all too much for him. He can’t kiss her, not tonight. 

If he lost her, he’d never recover. He constantly questions how could she not know. Everyone knew. She was so smart, so intuitive about everything except this. 

But moments like this, wrapped up together on the couch, Barry thought maybe she did know but didn’t want to hurt him. Had to know. Was she just teasing him? Messing with him?

If she asked, he would tell her. Tell her he’s loved her since the day he met her. Loved her so fiercely there were nights he thought he might die from the ache in his chest.

“Why not?” she says back, her voice quiet and steady, and he wills himself the courage to just say it. He closes his eyes and grips the fabric of her shirt a little tighter, forehead pressed against hers, hoping to convey the words through his touch.

“He’ll be here soon. This is my first date ever Barr.” She says after a minute. She’s still whispering, and he’s still silent. He nods.

It’s on the tip of his tongue, ten years of pure longing and desire and love culminating to this moment. But he can't. The recurring fear of losing her crawls up from his stomach and grips his throat like a vice, curling painfully in his chest. He can barely breathe. 

She’s the only constant in his life. His anchor to everything. The only person who’s given him unwavering support, believed in him no matter what. It’s overwhelming, the emotion he feels for her. 

He moves his nose to the crook of her neck and nuzzles the soft skin there. She smells like the new perfume Barry had chosen for her when they went to the mall. He tugs her closer, till she’s practically sitting on his lap.

Her hands instinctively move to the back of his neck, painted fingernails scratching his skin gently. They’ve been in this position many times. Whenever one of them had a bad day, the most comforting place was buried in the other’s shoulder. 

“Why not, Barry?” She asks again. His hands are shaking and he feels sick. He can’t do it. 

“Just… don’t.” He chokes out. It’s not enough and he knows it. 

Her phone vibrates, and his chance is gone. As if he was going to take it anyways.

Iris pulls away slowly. He misses the closeness immediately, coldness washing over him. His eyes are still closed. Bringing a soft palm to his cheek, she brushes her thumb gently under his lashes. “I’m sorry.” She whispers, and stands up.

And Barry watches as she walks out the door, digging his nails into his palm to stop the stinging tears from falling.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing ff in years and posting on this account in general but I just rewatched the flash and am sad and missing WA so I wrote this quickly and actually hate it but wanted to post it anyways <3


End file.
